This week on “Wait, Is it a romantic date?” we are accompanied by Autostraddle President and
L Keyword
expert
Riese Bernard
to talk about: The Chart. You got that right! This occurrence is all about lesbian interconnectivity â hooking up with pals’ exes, friends setting up with the exes, while the society developed by all that crisis.
Arrive for any gossip, stay for any emotional running. And before that enjoy a casino game that exams Christina’s boundaries: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally would not.)
Thanks a lot for all your wonderful opinions after all of our premiere! When you haven’t but think about providing us with a rating or evaluate!
PROGRAM NOTES
+ 5 years ago Riese built an
Old Hollywood chart
this is the intersection of most my passions.
+ Discover
the article
We reference where We mention setting up using my roommates.
+ My crush of the few days Mj Rodriguez released a music video on her track
“Something to state”
!
+ As anyone who has just observed a handful of periods of
The Nanny
this montage
of Christina’s crush of the few days C.C. Babcock had been shocking if you ask me with regards to turned out she and Niles are not both homosexual. (Christina tells me they generally nonetheless tend to be.)
Drew:
I’d end up being very great along with it present. I might never ever include someone else without their own permission. But the notion of whenever somebody was like, “make sure you happen to be connected with me,” I would end up like, “Yeah, it’s the life I’ve lived. I really don’t care about.” Is the fact that odd? Usually problems?
Christina:
No, because if I happened to ben’t, I would personally feel terrible not. I’d end up like, “Wait, I’m not lying?”
Theme tune performs
Drew:
Hi, I’m Drew.
Christina:
Hi, I’m Christina.
Drew:
And welcome to
Hold Off, Is This A Romantic Date?
Christina:
Hold Off, Is This A Romantic Date?
is actually an Autostraddle podcast asking the top concerns. To begin with, will it be a romantic date? What exactly are dates? Who’re times? Will we like times? These are the sorts of concerns that people address about this here incredibly professional and beautiful podcast.
Drew:
I’m called Drew Gregory. I am an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.
Christina:
I’m called Christina Tucker. I am in addition a writer at Autostraddle. Im a loud queer online. I will be improving at describing my self as a writer and, famously, a lesbian. That is us. That’s whom we are.
Drew:
Yeah. And thus our main subject recently will be the Chart.
Christina:
I simply thought it required a sting. I don’t know. That believed truly dramatic, but i believe it required it.
Drew:
Yes. No, please, please, please. Many thanks, thank you so much. No, no, no. The best number of crisis.
Christina:
Thanks.
Drew:
Yeah. So we’re discussing lesbian interconnectivity.
Christina:
I favor that expression since it seems like you should resume the lesbians. It may sound just like the net connection actually operating.
Drew:
Yes. it is extremely higher level, very advanced, and has been in existence since there is lesbians, i believe.
Christina:
Yeah. I think scholars would say as soon as they found initial lesbian fossils, they found a data alongside ones created inside mud. And I also think’s just what that motion picture is mostly about, right? It’s about the information? That film with Kate Winslet and the mud fossils?
Drew:
Ammonite?
Christina:
Yeah, that is what it’s about.
Drew:
If only
Ammonite
involved cave ladies. I would view that lesbian motion picture.
Christina:
Really, when I haven’t viewed it, i’ll courageously point out that it was. Cool.
Drew:
Yeah. Because it’s like we so many lesbian period pieces, but we have now never ever eliminated right back that far. And that I think it’s the perfect time we carry out.
Christina:
Let’s simply hold using it furthermore back in its history.
Drew:
Before we obtain to our major subject, you’re nonetheless observing you. And I believed that it could be fun to tackle a game where you guys could really familiarize yourself with Christina. Very our icebreaker because of this few days is a little game that we name “Would U-Haul.”
Christina:
I’m, once more, so stressed concerning this. This might just be how I come to the online game. This might be my personal video game mentality, only a little high-key, a tiny bit stressed. That is okay. All of us are reading.
Drew:
In my opinion that’s fantastic. In my opinion that will move you to more susceptible, perhaps.
Christina:
Certainly one of the best thoughts.
Drew:
Only a terror, just a severe horror. So that the manner in which “Would U-Haul” really works is actually i’ll explain a situation. Why don’t we refer to it as Christina fan fiction. And I’m probably pause after each little part are like, “Okay, Christina, I know that you have never resided with someone, do not want to live with a partner. But under these scenarios, would U-Haul?”
Christina:
And I also will either say yes or I’ll say, “i am prepared.”
Drew:
Unless you â well, we are going to see here. But I’m thrilled. I believe I perhaps damaged the rule.
Christina:
You’ve damaged the code? I am thrilled.
Drew:
Let’s observe how long this takes. Assuming you never do, i believe you win? I’m not sure just how you can find winners right here.
Christina:
I am not sure that we now have champions into the game of U-Hauling.
Drew:
Well, I don’t know should you decide’ll go along with that after this. Therefore I’m going to get heading.
Christina:
Fair sufficient.
Drew:
Okay. Very, Christina.
Christina:
Drew.
Drew:
You are at your friend’s marriage. Regardless of the great number of romcoms you’ve soaked up, you did maybe not choose this wedding ceremony considering you’ll meet any person because, really, this is not a romcom. This is basically the genuine and typical life of Christina Grace Tucker. You adopt the designated seat and are glancing at your cellphone whenever you understand a woman at the dining table is wanting at you. She presents herself since your friend’s previous baby-sitter. She actually is stayed a pal of the family, but she doesn’t truly know anyone there. She appears to be mid-forties and has now a striking angular face. You begin chatting. She proposes to enable you to get a drink. Once she rises, you understand she’s six feet tall, 6â² 3â³ in heels. You know what? I am just browsing hold on there and be love, at this point, would U-Haul?
Christina:
I am fascinated. I’m fascinated because i would get laid during this wedding ceremony. But up to now I’m not U-Hauling anyplace.
Drew:
Cool. Which is entirely reasonable. Entirely reasonable. Okay. So you spend the entire wedding ceremony observing each other. There is only an instantaneous spark and immediate chemistry. And yes, you are doing attach and the gender is amazing.
Christina:
Tight.
Drew:
So this wedding ceremony was in Northern California. And that means you both expand your own remains for three days to fuck and explore and consume at restaurants and discover everything gay meet and fuck has to offer to divide the cost of the today combined room, but she laughs you down and is also want, “certainly perhaps not, honey.” Therefore the then 3 days tend to be miracle. You really feel your wall space tumbling down. You are dropping quicker than you previously have. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Thus only for understanding’s benefit, i am having a hard time picturing some sort of by which we took three surprise days off of try to go out with individuals i actually do maybe not know. That appears bonkers. But if I did, good for me. But i am simply not U-Hauling at this point. It will likely be a no.
Drew:
Great. Okay. That’s great. You only came across. I get it. I have it. Okay.
Christina:
Thank you plenty.
Drew:
So she returns to ny therefore return to Philadelphia.
Christina:
That is where We reside.
Drew:
And you’re texting constantly. This is where you reside which is where this lady life. And you’re texting continuously and also you see each other multiple times a month. She is extremely active together task, but she is rapid buying you a train ticket so you can appear see this lady and remain at her stunning brownstone in Fort Greene. Immediately after which half a year pass. And something night if you are out over meal, she asks one to move in with her. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
And go on to New York? I don’t really love nyc. No, I’m not moving in at the six months level. I’m not undertaking that, no.
Drew:
Okay, okay. Totally, entirely, completely. Wow. Okay. You keep matchmaking cross country. She knows that you will want some time and the woman is happy to anticipate you. A few more months pass. It’s now already been over annually. Your own property owner informs you they are offering your place to a developer that is investing in apartments, which means you can’t restore it. You need to discover a place. Your now sweetheart tells you that no pressure, but the woman present still stands. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Okay. Now, i might U-Haul for two reasons.
Drew:
Yay! Ok. Kindly reveal.
Christina:
Largely, in a global by which my property manager marketed the house to cultivate it, my personal landlord is my personal companion, making sure that may seem like one thing moved completely wrong in our friendship. And I might want to only leave Philadelphia anyway. And in case I get to go in with my girlfriend over right here, that seems fine. Which is great. Completely fine. But yeah, i believe i would need an external energy like a mean property owner.
Drew:
Which is so â fine. I did believe that you would have to require construction to have here, and so I’m pleased We understood that.
Christina:
Yeah. That’s exactly what has got to affect me very first.
Drew:
Really, i am happy to understand what it does take. So theoretically, if perhaps you weren’t kicked away, exactly how much longer?
Christina:
Really, which could went on for a long time. Philly and New York are not actually that not even close to one another. I obtained space over here. We are jumping back-and-forth. We are having fun. I really could have permit that roll for some time until i suppose Shoshana turns into the worst person i understand.
Drew:
I didn’t know Shoshana owned your own house. Really, there you choose to go.
Christina:
There we get. Wow, that was thrilling.
Drew:
Well, thank you for playing.
Christina:
I am pressured, becoming clear.
Drew:
And I’m glad that I’m sure⦠possibly if you’re actually, anytime anybody’s ever matchmaking both you and wishes you to definitely move in, maybe your own sweetheart informed Shoshana to offer your house in the interests of the commitment.
Christina:
Honestly the fastest means â someone would only have to consult with Shoshana and stay like, “simply kick her aside.” And then she’d resemble, “Yeah, positive. Needless to say.” That would be the way it occurred, even though she did not promote your house. Some one would just be like, “is it possible to simply kick the girl away so she will simply overcome it and relocate with me?” And she’d state yes. One hundred percent she’d accomplish that. That’s what friendship is actually.
Drew:
I love that.
Christina:
Yeah, which is actually gorgeous.
Drew:
Really, personally i think like we learned lots in regards to you.
Christina:
Thanks A Lot. I feel like We learned much about me, too. Danger of homelessness is really the point that helps to keep me personally relocating any scenario, I guess. Wow.
Drew:
Well, that is fantastic.
Christina:
That was actually fascinating. I am similarly delighted to move into the primary section because In my opinion speaing frankly about lesbian connection with this specific visitor, with this unique guest, i believe it will likely be amazing, Drew. How are you presently experiencing?
Drew:
I’m therefore excited. This will be a specialized. And by that, after all an
L Term
specialist, additionally some a specialized when you look at the topic available.
Christina:
I do believe a couple of things are true, my good friend. I believe a couple of things are real indeed. Will we need introduce the visitor or do we want our very own visitor introducing on their own?
Drew:
I would love our visitor to introduce by herself.
Christina:
Guest.
Drew:
I will claim that our very own visitor is the only Riese Bernard.
Christina:
Guest, speak.
Riese:
Hi, I’m Riese. Which is odd become the guest!
Christina:
Yeah, really.
Riese:
I had to not state such a thing. I did not actually do it. Used to do say situations. I had to stay right here silently.
Christina:
Therefore were really brave. As well as your confronts were appreciated.
Riese:
Thanks a lot a whole lot.
Christina:
Though this is exactly certainly a sound average, I want our listeners to find out that Riese was producing some very nice reaction faces during “Would U-Haul.”
Riese:
There’s various ways to get heard. Guess what happens after all? That’s what i usually say. I’m the CEO of Autostraddle.com. And that I’m in addition on an undefeated kickball staff. That is certainly myself. I have a puppy known as Carol. And I also have dated folks.
Christina:
Congrats on kickball!
Riese:
Thanks a lot. I am a part of folks.
Christina:
Great. Adoring that. That is fantastic to carry to the, this here matchmaking podcast. That’s great.
Riese:
Yeah. I believe that⦠Is there whatever else?
Drew:
No, In my opinion that’s fantastic, Riese.
Christina:
What you may would you like to discuss.
Riese:
I really like raspberries, the good fresh fruit raspberries, and pools.
Christina:
Compared toâ¦
Riese:
You Realize an individual goes likeâ¦
Drew:
It is like when you blow. Yeah.
Christina:
Oh. Those tend to be gross, so I simply just evacuated all of them from my personal brain.
Riese:
Yeah. And that is all.
Christina:
Great.
Drew:
Really, I immediately thought of you for this subject.
Christina:
That is true.
Drew:
Because first of all, obviously, queer ladies and non-binary folks in lesbian neighborhood happen like, I am not sure, having sexual intercourse with individuals exactly who people they know have had gender with since well before
The L Term
was actually ever a string. But i really do feel like
The L Keyword
solidified a specific social idea of the chart with Alice Pieszecki. And so I felt like you’d have countless insight into this topic.
Riese:
Its correct. A couple of authors, I want to state, of
The L Word
had this actual data of those and their pals these were drawing throughout the wall or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i do believe, ended up being one among them. She spoke to all of us about it, they had created this. Because clearly, everyone for the reason that blogger’s place had banged other individuals in the publisher â you realize, as well as the prolonged internet of the generation of lesbians in la. And in addition they watched can they were like, “Let’s put it when you look at the tv series.” And a few of them take the data. Like, one particular just who ⦠like, real folks are on data as a joke.
Christina:
That’s amazing. Which is how you understand you have made it.
Riese:
Isn’t really that lovable?
Christina:
That will be exciting for me personally.
Riese:
And therefore for those who haven’t viewed
The L Word,
firstly, congrats. Secondly, it gets the centerpiece of one of your direct figure, Alice’s, apartment. She has it-all over her wall. Plus it may be the name of a web page they started known as ourchart.com that flopped. And the concept ⦠And it’s for the pilot, I think. Into the initial episode, Alice starts referring to exactly how every person’s linked, because everybody’s connected with this particular person. And I also can link you, as if you’re probably no more than two levels from the me personally. And therefore was actually real. Like, despite Dana, who’d not a lot of knowledge because she was a closeted golf player, they however could actually link the lady. And that’s true to life because it’s correct.
Christina:
That’s tradition. Yeah. That’s what tradition seems like.
Riese:
Which is society. Which is queer society right there. And from now on every person can make their charts.
Christina:
Yeah. To ensure that was going to end up being my personal subsequent question, ended up being have actually either people made a chart? Because I don’t imagine We have, I am also sorts of now thinking like, that was this last year seated at my household for easily failed to generate a chart? Like, what was the point of that, really?
Riese:
I think I done it in my own record, just as like ⦠Because I really like, I am not sure, organizing details, i suppose, as an idea workout.
Christina:
Yeah, In my opinion that is also the reason why Im astonished that i’ven’t completed it. I prefer the notion of categorizing situations.
Riese:
Appropriate. Yeah. Since it is fascinating. I’m not sure why its very interesting, however it is. It really is fascinating getting like, wow, all these individuals, they are connected. Its wild.
Drew:
Regarding the show, once ourchart.com is devised, they’ve an authentic chart that people can also add things. And I feel something that you joked when it comes to on
To L and Back,
and then individuals state always is similar to, when this existed in a real method, no body would put their own labels on it, no one would feel at ease putting their own names about it.
Riese:
You’ll.
Drew:
I would. I’d be really great along with it present. I’d never add another person without their permission. But the idea of like, everytime some body ended up being like, “concur that you might be attached to me,” I’d resemble, “Yeah, oahu is the existence i have lived. Really don’t mind.” Is strange? Usually a challenge?
Christina:
No, as if I found myselfn’t, i might feel poor not ⦠I would personally be like, “Wait, I am not on it? Like, i am sorry, just what?” No, that could in fact deliver me personally into lighting moral anxiety about who I am as one, the things I’m doing. Am I interesting? Carry out individuals {like